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because-fuck-you-thats-why:

I bet you didn’t expect that

because-fuck-you-thats-why:

I bet you didn’t expect that

(via avi-jewboy)

Source: elguindilla
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quietharbeats:

theeyeofthetigger:


“Lord of the flies”

I LAUGHED HARDER THAN I SHOULD HAVE AT THIS

why has no one asked how the hell they managed that?

quietharbeats:

theeyeofthetigger:

“Lord of the flies”

I LAUGHED HARDER THAN I SHOULD HAVE AT THIS

why has no one asked how the hell they managed that?

(via avi-jewboy)

Source: harrystylesdicksquad
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cat-core:

castleoflions:

This was a card at Target.

I laughed for fucking ever.

omg

(via avi-jewboy)

Source: castleoflions
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ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

(via avi-jewboy)

Source: ramirezbundydahmer
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buzzfeed:

Man, cats sure are dumb sometimes.

(via memewhore)

Source: BuzzFeed